SKIN OFFERINGS - Michelle McGrane

you surprised,
no - terrified -
me,
when i visited the hospital.

you'd committed yourself -
after all -

i'd thought you wanted
to get better.

sullen silence, anger, despondent tears,
i was prepared for any eventuality,
except
sharp-edged, smiling, anorexic resolve.

your body, turned cannibal,
is devouring itself.

i wonder, elf-girl,
where you find
the strength, determination,
to starve yourself
when there is
so little
of you left.

with shadowy satisfaction
you tell me
you are still
refusing to eat;
the nurses have threatened to
put you in "lock-up".

you proudly exhibit mutilation marks:
angry red welts, fluid-filled blisters,

sin-offerings, skin-offerings,

on bony wrists, on
your neck, for god's sake!
you've burnt patterns
on your skin
with a lighter.

your religion: concave stomach,
protruding bones;
offered prayers: laxatives &
valium.

dying to be thin,
an emaciated sacrifice
to a relentless god -
this crucified flesh is innocent,
it's the mind that is not.

Michelle McGrane